What is twisted thinking, and where did it come from?
The idea for Twisted Thinking came about in 2019 after my wife was diagnosed with cancer. In the months following the news, I struggled with fury and frustration. I was constantly angry at having to deal with daily life and was striking out at everything, including her. It took longer than I like to admit to realize that I wasn’t creating a healthy environment to live in, much less one that encouraged recovery.
Once I understood that truth, the only thing I could do to correct it was try to smoosh my thoughts into something that didn’t resemble a swirling black hole of negativity. I mean, it’s not like I could change the circumstances, and wasting energy trying to do that was even less useful than what I was already doing. So, every time I recognized that familiar frustration welling up inside at “XYZ”, I would try to twist it around to find a reason it could be considered good.
For example, if I was annoyed that I had a sink full of dishes to wash for what felt like the 832nd time in a row, my inner dialogue might be something like this:
"Having dirty dishes means...
... we have food to make them dirty...
... we have a sink to fill up...
... someone had the energy to cook...
... we had the money to buy groceries this week...
... we had the energy to go and buy groceries this week...
... she was well enough to eat today...
... we have running water to wash them...
...and that's a good thing."And so on and on and on. I must have come up with 1000 different reasons to be thankful for a sink full of dishes alone. Some of them were silly and convoluted, but it didn’t matter. It made me feel better.
It’s important to point out that thinking this way didn’t make the action of doing the chore suck less, but it soothed the annoyance and frustration of having to do it into something much more constructive and manageable, which was a major win. When I wasn’t being sucked into that black hole of negativity, I could concentrate on other stuff.
This whole thing started with household chores, but as time passed and more things happened (as they do), I ended up applying the practice to much more serious subjects. Sometimes I could put that grateful spin on things, and others I struggled with, but regardless of the success or failure, it helped me develop a different and more productive mindset during some of the darkest times.
Now, in 2022, after taking a good look at the world around me, I feel compelled to share this way of thinking with you. This blog is how I’ve decided to do it.
I hope that short story covered everything, but if you don’t think it did (or you have anything else to say about this page or questions to ask) contact me and say your piece. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
In the meantime, I hope your blessings pile up and become a huge twisted mess of wonderfulness!
~K